Perception of My life

I sometimes feel like this

I fight myself

I have no idea to which idea should I side

And make peace with me.

I struggle with it

One side of me suggest not to be caring

Loving, dependent

The other says no

Be a loving caring and dependent person.

The other speaks with anger

Fuck life!

Fuck everything about it.

Fuck selfless

You don’t need it.

You just need to be you

No one cares about you

Everyone has a million reason not to care for you

So build your reason

 

"No man don’t say that!" says the other me

It suggest that I need to be

The good guy

That I should be a reason for others to life

A reason for who (says the other me)

Bruh you are fucked up

No one has been a reason for your survival

Everyone whom you lived with

Have a coffee with

People whom you shared a meal with

All of them

They were an asshole to you.

So go get your life

Live for yourself.

The other speaks in a calm and mannered way

Yeah you may be right

But also

Everybody he has meal with

Or had a cup of tea

People whom he has spent a fraction of second

Made this person

They say it takes a village to raise a child

He is the result of everyone in his life

 

 

 I listened all

All I have been in life

The pain, and the strength

The Happiness, and the sadness

The love and the discouragement

The weakness and the relief

The joy, excitement, fear, confusion, surprise, hope, pride and Inspirations.

All are because I was living with people.

They shaped me the way I perceive things

The imagination I have

The fear of failure

So I got stuck in identity crisis

Pull over on me

Hey people

I’m talking to you

Help

I don’t need me to put in the box that you made

I don’t need you to tie me with the dirty ropes

I don’t need you to made me a people pleasing person

Look

You will be ashamed of me someday by raising a son who doesn’t care about you thou I care 

I know you don’t want the credit unless

I grow up becoming a good person

All I need in life is understanding

Not the idea of me becoming you

I’m tired

I’m really tired pleasing you guys

I decided to to be free and walk alone 

than being filled with your egos 

and unhealthy perspectives of life.

I’m going.

Going

Home.

  

                                                             May 2, 2022